When I first started this blog three years ago, it was all about Zach's medical journey. It was my journal for what was happening with him, what the doctors were thinking, my feelings. It was my way to keep everyone updated and as much informed as I could. Along the way it also allowed me to meet some amazing medical parents who were going through some of the same things.
And now three years later, my blog is so much more than just about Zach. It is now the journey of both of my boys, their special needs, and our struggles. Zach was sick for so long and got so much attention that I never realized Lucas was having problems. But now, after three years I have two special needs boys. And now this blog is about our everyday life.
Being a special needs parent is hard. And sometimes you want everything to be normal and sain, and you sometimes feel how much easier it would be to have "normal" children, and how you feel envious of all your friends for having "normal" families. The ones that you can take anywhere, do anything, and not worry about the noises, or the meltdowns, or the stares. There was no chapter in the expecting book to prepare me for this journey. I have learned along the way how to cope with my children's needs. And believe me, I haven't learned it all yet. There are days that I could pull my hair out or run away. It is hard, it is frustrating, it takes all my energy, my time.
Would I change it?
No way, I love my boys but you don't understand what it is like unless you walk in my shoes.
I am glad this blog has let me reach so many people and meet so many people who are struggling just like me. My goal is for someone to read this and realize they are not alone and that there are other moms thinking and feeling the same way they do.
No one is prepared for the struggle, having a baby period is a struggle and strain but then you throw into the mix, special needs and all the parenting advise flies out the window. The dreams that you had for your child change to fit them. The dreams of the next soccer star turn into the dream that maybe one day they will walk unassisted. The dreams of the next billboard record breaking singer turn into the dream that they will say their first word one day.
You hope that one day they can buckle their own pants, put on their shirt, tie their shoes all on their own.
It's the little things that "normal" families take for granted.
This blog has allowed me to express those feeling as real as I can on here. To show my emotions and feelings for what I want for my children. One day hopefully they will look back and read this and know how big of an accomplishment they are. How proud I am of both of them and how far they have come.
We've already made it so far in three years, who knows how far we will be in the next three.