Monday, January 20, 2014


Last week I took Luke to his evaluation by his developmental behavior pediatrician, which was hard even though I already know half the struggles he has everyday. Seeing him struggle and not being able to help him is something no parent wants to watch.
We know Luke struggles everyday with having global dyspraxia, sensory processing disorder, adhd-combined type, dyslexia, dysgraphia and some more but with all these there are so many aspects that we don't understand still. There really is no telling what is going on inside his head at any time, and one minute he can be the sweetest most caring little boy then like a flip of a switch he is in full meltdown mode and I am left to figure out why.
He constantly tells himself he is horrible or he can't do anything right, that he is a bad boy and it takes everything I have to try and convince him that IS wonderful. But then just the simple act of telling him to stop doing something ends us back in the battle field again. He can't control his brain from thinking that every time he makes a mistake he is failing.
So the intent of this evaluation was to help us figure out exactly what is going on inside his head. Many people have told me that he shows a lot of Autistic tendencies and that he is probably on the spectrum somewhere. And yes I can see those characteristics in certain things he does,
-he has always lined up his toys, and color coordinated his cars and blocks.
-he has sensory processing disorder, which can also be a disorder all by itself but also a trademark of autism
-he has developmental delays
-he toe walks
-he will sit for hours engaged in an activity that most kids would be bored with
-he HAS to have his alone time
-his meltdowns are out of control
I could honestly go on and on about all the symptoms he portrays but really all I want our ways to help him. If he has autism or something else going on, he just needs me to understand him and be able to help him.
This evaluation was not much different than his pycho-educational evaluation he had back in May 2013 for school. But even after being in developmental kindergarten for half the school year already, he still struggles in areas that should be so simple. And it is heart breaking.
He was asked to time of day it was.. not like the clock time but like is it morning, afternoon or night, and it took several attempts and lots of extra clues for him to figure it out. He was asked what his last name was, he knows but he has to say his whole name to get out the last name and he couldn't write it when asked. He actually couldn't even write his alphabet, the only word he still only knows how to write from memory is his first name. He also had to imitate the doctor with simple hand movements which proved to be a greater task.
And I'm not writing this to tell you all the things he can't do, but for an almost 7 year old who has been in school since he was 2 1/2, was in pre k twice and now in a developmental kindergarten with only 4 other kids it is hard to cope with.
I KNOW he is smart and I want him to succeed, I HATE that he has to struggle to do so. He gets so frustrated at himself and he gives up so easily. So I really hope this evaluation will give me some insight on ways to help him. But I do have to wait till Wednesday to find out.

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  1. As a mom with 2 kids who are special needs I can tell you it does get better. It is so heartbreaking when they know they are different and cannot understand why and we can't tell them why either. I always told my boys God made them special because no one else was worthy enough to handle it. It doesn't always work but sometimes it does. Sending you love and hugs and hopes that you find out more ways to be a helper for him at the next appointment

  2. I can't even imagine being in either of your shoes. He is so incredibly lucky to have you... and you're lucky to have him, too... regardless of any struggles that come along with it. :)

  3. He is an exceptional smart and loving grandson (and yes I am biased).The things he can devise and make astound me...a piece of rope, sticks, tape...and with whatever he builds, he can tell you exactly where everything is (engine, hydraulics..yes hydraulics..) and how it is going to work. I am sooo proud to be his Nana. And I am sooo PROUD and ADMIRE you sweetheart for all you are and all you do. No-one could have a more beautiful, loving daughter..I Love you